Am I Holy Enough? Part1

Rich or poor, old or young, socialites or unknowns, educated or uneducated, criminal or patriot; one thing that all cannot segregate themselves is that everyone are in fact, human beings. If there’s one thing we all have in common as human beings regardless of our different standings, is that each one of us wants to be good enough.

So many people are pushing themselves to their limits of self-improvement these days. Different people do it for different reasons. Some want to prove to themselves that they are able. Some want to prove to others that they are able. Some want a better future- for themselves or for loved ones. Some does it for the competition. Some does it for the adrenaline rush. Some does it for more holistic reasons such as wanting peace and ultimate sense of serenity in life. Some don’t even know why they want to improve themselves but just do because that’s what the whole world seems to be doing.

Attaining more knowledge, skill, ability, respect, likable charismatic personality, affordability, wealth are all part and parcel of today’s modern life. All these things are good in itself but it has gone to such spiraling extremes that I would safely say it’s to the point of paranoia. It is with this urgency I would like to explore the underlying issue of this behavior.

Why are we so desperate to be more able and to improve? When will ‘good’ ever be good enough?

In my humble opinion, I think that unless and until we know why, we will soon come to the bitter truth that we are just chasing an uncatchable wind. We feel it, we run for it and try to chase and catch it, but end up catching nothing. At the end of the day, after one has strived and sweated trying to improve and improve, one can still be found wondering, ”Am I good enough?”. It eats up ones soul from the inside when deep in ones soul, he somewhat knows that he STILL isn’t good enough. Is it all really for nothing? Or is there something more to this modern notion of ‘Get all you can get’ that needs to be addressed?

As a pastor, I have many people wondering whether or not is my job vocation still relevant in this modern era. People tend to associate church, Bible, clergymen, and the likes – as traditional, conservative, old-fashioned, holy. I humbly accept these views because while not accurate, it still has some truth in them. I do not think that I’m traditional, conservative or old-fashioned. I think I’m more of a trendsetter than a traditionalist. I’m more ready to be flexible than to keep to the traditions just for the sake of traditions. I do not think that I deserve the ‘conservative’ label as well. If I may add, I’m the exact opposite. Not saying that I’m a rebel, but simply I’m liberal. Old-fashioned? *laughs out loud*. Last I checked, I wasn’t wearing pope-ish looking garments.

Holy?

Ahhh…,that I can safely say a confident “YES” on another’s account. On my own account, ‘never’.

Good enough?

Same answer as above.

In my own account by my own accord, I can never be holy and good enough. So, what now? Can we ever be good enough? When is ‘good’ ever good enough? If no, why would I even want to give my life to God for His will to be done if I already know that I’m never good enough? Believe me, as a pastor, I’ve asked this question over and over again and for some reason, there is a very good answer on why I can be fully confident that I’m able to fulfill this call that’s upon my life despite of my weaknesses and shortcomings.

You’ll find out why in my coming posts.

Give yourself some time to digest this before my next post. Be blessed!